Dazed and Confused
by Skyla Ishiyama
Summary: Oneshot Femslash. As the rain falls, Aelita reflects on her feelings towards a certain someone... R and R Rating to be safe


**AN:** OK, I know I should be updating LtL, but I'm having writers block. I know this is short, but I'm in school and I don't have much time. This is just something I felt like writing. **Warning: This is femslash. If you don't like, don't read!** This is my first attempt at slash, so it's not the best. It's in Aelita's POV, and I hope you like it. Don't kill me for not updating Learning to Love, please! I don't want to die! It...IT WAS SISSI'S FAULT! So here's the one-shot femslash! After a short word from my sponsor!

**Disclaimer:**

Odd: The wonderful writer of this story, unfortunately does _not_ own CL. You cannot sue her cause she has no money. She is worth nothing.

Me: HEY!

Odd: I mean, anyways, this story, if you didn't read the AN is femslash. If you don't know that by now, you're more dull then Nicolas. The wonderful authoress would now like to be discouraged from killing me. –runs away–

**Dazed and Confused**

The coolness of the glass faded as my hand warmed it. My hand was pressed against the window as I watched the rain. I could hear it on the roof, and it seemed to reflect my sorrow. I closed my eyes, and I saw the one who caused it all. She didn't even know it, because I tried my best to hide it. The confusion, the sadness…. She was the one I could never have. The one I loved. She has been going out with _him_ for so long, and it's starting to hurt. She doesn't know how I feel, or at least, I don't think she does. Lightning struck. If _he _ever hurts her, I swear…he **will** regret the day he did. I would send such harsh words….Then I'd kill him. Thunder clapped. She would _never_ be hurt again if I had any say in it! I was finally here at Kadic, but Jeremie was so different then I thought… we started dating, but he just...it didn't work out. He ended it, and I started to realize how….beautiful she is. When Ulrich and her started dating, it tore at my heart. I realized to late… I got up and started pacing, and the clouds cried more. She is beautiful… Her eyes always glowed with happiness, unless she was worried, then deep concern would show. Her voice was so melodic and her smile, so contagious. She's always able to understand and she's always helping those in need of support. She's modest, and cares for everyone, she's graceful… She's perfect in everyway! If only I'd opened my eyes and saw what was right in front of me. I could feel the tears slide down my cheeks, falling to the floor where they would be forgotten. She was the only one who seemed to notice how I feel, when I'm sad. Sometimes… she's the only one who **_cares_**. If only I hadn't been so blind. Jeremie seems to have forgotten me, XANA being gone and all, I don't have so much of a reminder to him. Yes, the place I called home for so long,…gone. Now, as the rain slows, I must confess…

**I love Yumi Ishiyama.**

But it won't come to be, for she and Ulrich are so much in love, I don't think he'd ever hurt her. And if he did, she would move on, find another guy, she'd probably never think of me as I do her. It tears my heart to pieces just knowing that I will never be able to hold her in my arms... I'll never be able to tell her how I feel, because I don't want to complicate our friendship. Love can be such a torturous thing. Yumi is the closest person I've had to a family that I can remember. Sure, there was Franz Hopper and Mama, but their memories are so faint. I wish things were different, I never meant to fall in love with her. Love wasn't supposed to happen, not to me at least. Is it a sin for me to love her? Because if it is, call me a sinner. I love her with all my heart, and I trust her with my life. I can only hope that, one day, she will love me like I love her. One day...I'll be loved. But for now, I can only tell myself. I look at the clock. It's flashing red numbers tell me it's 4:55 am. I tiptoe to my bed, burrow under the covers, and as my eyes close, I see her. A smile graces my lips.

"I love you, Yumi Ishiyama." I whisper to myself before the rain slowly lulled me to sleep

**AN:** OK, there you go, my first attempt at femslash. NO FLAMES! I hope you enjoyed the semi-angsty Aelita, and I promise I'll update LtL ASAP, so please no killing me. Cause if you kill me, I won't be able to write the next chapter, so it'd be a lose-lose situation! I don't have much to say, except, leave a review and tell me what you think.


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